I recently read an article to do with being a songwriter. It said you are a songwriter first and always can bring that to anything you do. This made me smile because there are many moments I’ve written songs on napkins in clubs, written lyrics on the back on receipts on a bus, recorded quietly in a corner on my phones voice recorder in the street. Plus I’ve written poems for funerals, songs for friends, work projects, rhymes in friend’s cards, the list goes on.
It also reminded me of an exercise I read in a book for artists, around self-development, which said that you should imagine 10 alternate lives for yourself and then try and incorporate bits of those into your life. Mine went something life this.
I’d be: So I would:
A writer Start blogging…again, with this post! (I must make time!)
Be an actress Experiment with a bit of facial expression in music videos? |
A dancer Have morning solo discos, go clubbing more!
An artist Go to more art galleries, get inspired, go home and DIM!
A political leader Join the Green Party, go to meetings, maybe more?
A Mermaid Go swimming more often
A tree hugger Go to the woods, hug trees, get in nature every weekend.
A Kung Fu master Go to Kung Fu more often, train at home, go to a Temple
A farmer Try to grow more than one tomato plant…
A famous musician Keep writing, recording, releasing, working hard, be true.
Being true was the most important to me, I added that now as actually although fame was this alternate life, it is not a goal, a goal for me is something I’ve achieved without necessarily the need for anyone else’s recognition (although that’s always nice!) like when I can finally do a flip in Kung Fu!
And talking of what people think, I’m also not a brave person, I get scared, I scream, I run away. I’ve been forcing myself to face my fears, one step at a time lately. My dream is to be able to be totally free, to not care what anyone else thinks as long as I am happy. My uncle Man Yan is my inspiration on this, and I am sad he lives so far away and I really should see him more often. But his stories from his visits live on.
I want to be able to dance and sing in the street when I’m walking down the road with a banging tune on in my headphones, because I’m really feeling it – I hate having to restrain myself just because I don’t want to look weird! But like living little parts of our alternate lives, I am taking little baby steps – I went from humming, to swaying, to singing the odd line and one little dance move. One time two people stopped their conversation looked at me, then carried on – it was great, they really didn’t care!
It’s a great feeling to know you are moving closer to who you feel you really are and I don’t want to miss a moment. I know life can ‘get in the way’ but like the advice about being a songwriter always first, whoever you are, surely we can slip in that little bit of us – either as part of all we do, or in slithers in between the things we ‘must’ do? Because whether you get one life or ten, we want to be us right? For me, the only way to be whole is to live in the moment as much as possible AND shuffle in those little tasks and steps that to take me closer to who I want to be, always being true to myself… flashback…that makes me think of my first ever solo EP ‘Who I Am’. I was still searching back then, but I feel a whole lot closer these years later, even now I have to keep up with my other ten lives!